What a year this has been!
I changed jobs and moved countries twice. Then moved apartments. Twice.
I started learning a new language.
Began a new and
stressful so fucking stressful oh god what have i done challenging job.
In sadder news, a relative of mine died and it hit my family quite hard. I fear this marked the start of the end for a particular generation in my family, which wasn’t ever not going to happen, but it’s still . . . well. Things won’t ever quite be the same. He died a few weeks ago. Christmas will be a little more sombre this year.
All of which has taken up a lot of time and headspace, net result being I severely underestimated my ability to get new stories off the ground. I probably should’ve seen that coming, but I really thought I’d fall back into the swing of writing fairly easily once certain milestones were hit – moved into a place, assembled furniture I needed, got a handle on my job, settled into a routine, etc. But moving countries impacted a lot psychologically, much more than I expected it to. Nothing too bad, you understand, but there were lots of days where cooking a meal and then falling into bed was about all the energy I had. And now it’s the end of 2018 and it’s like the year barely happened. Where the hell did the time go? What did I do in that time? I know I chipped away at projects, but there have been so many other things to handle. Just as well I didn’t have any writing deadlines this year.
I glanced back over 2018’s blog posts, and it struck me how different my headspace was between February and March. I was on a high in February from leaving a job and life I disliked and starting afresh somewhere else. Then, well, March happened. Drama, followed rapidly by another move and another new job in April, and my headspace never got back to that February high. I honestly don’t remember most of May, even though there’s a post from that month that lists things I did.
Well. At least the Sharknado franchise ended on a bang.
The big plus of the year was a sense of control over my life that beforehand hadn’t been there. I mean, we all have control over what we do and where we go, but this was the year I really, deeply understood and used it. I became more of an active person – I did things I wanted to do, I set things into motion, I organised my life to something I wanted it to be. I said yes to things I normally don’t. Despite all the extra work that generates, it’s extraordinary knowing that I can make things that I want happen. Not all the time, or every day, or with every single thing. And of course sometimes things don’t work out. But if I really want something, I can make it happen. Many of the main events of my life have been dictated by outside forces, so this was a real discovery for me.
Let’s hope that next time it won’t involve quitting a job after two weeks 😉 it’s also more than time to put that energy and focus to writing once again.
So, a mixed year overall. That’s okay. I really hope next year is calmer – shouldn’t be difficult! I certainly don’t plan on moving again any time soon.
- Bring on 2019
- Time goes on
- I can’t claim to write excellent sex scenes, but at least I didn’t write these.
- Music: 2018 highlights? OKAY.
- he was sweet and it was true/ still i knew what i had to do
- you really can do better than that
- i get serious florence flashbacks everytime i listen to this
- all you sinners stand up
- sooo ooooone last time
- last year’s Christmas wish came true!
- two drinks down, there’s something in the water
- now obsessed with this Robyn collab
- fine, okay, yes, it’s that time of year, have some damn Christmas music
I hope everyone’s 2018 has been full of adventures and good books, and may more of that come your way in 2019.