March

Spring:

  • Sunny days, warmer weather, and is that a strange green shoot emerging next to my aloe vera plant? I think spring is on its way!
  • I may have understated that feeling of mental mire last month. This month saw me . . . not crash, nothing so dramatic, but I just got to a place where I slept badly for a week, culminating in one very bad night where I ruminated instead of sleeping and basically ended up in potato mode. Potato mode = doing basic stuff at work, reading, eating something, drinking water, playing a video game, having a beer, then sleeping for ten hours. Only that. I did this for a week. I didn’t look at Youtube, write, check WhatsApp, Twitter, the news, watch TV or movies, any of that stuff. I didn’t exercise. I didn’t really talk to people. I didn’t monitor my sugar or vegetable intake. I didn’t leave my flat. I couldn’t. My capacity was one activity at a time.
    tldr: I turned into a somewhat functional potato. A week of sleep and information limits meant I could care about shit again and start doing more.
    Look. I’m fine. It was a bad week/10 days and it’s over. A brain reset was clearly needed and my body forced it on me. I rested as best I could while still doing my job. Take it from Auntie Cass – it’s better not to get to that stage in the first place. Obviously I know better, and I need to be better about taking regular brain breaks, and finding ones which actually work. I’m very used to slogging through stuff – the way out is the way through, that kind of deal. Sometimes that’s the right thing to do, but in this case, it wasn’t.
  • After I recovered from that, it was back to the writing. And not a moment too soon, because the fucking edits are in!!!!!1!!
    I love E. I really do. But I’m also sick to death of it. I hate this stage, the one where I’ve gone over things and rewritten stuff and added in new elements and taken out stuff that’s awesome (to me) but doesn’t fit anymore and made sure everything still makes sense anyway even though none of it does at all and arrrghhhhh I love the story and characters but I’m so tired. Here! A screengrab of the heaviest edits from a distance:
The last two chapters needed surgerywork.
  • I read the first two books of the Warrior Bards series by Juliet Marillier. Apparently #3 is going through the publishing process, which is very exciting.
  • InnerSloth has finally released the airship map! Really excited to try it out 😀
  • I’m in the middle of The Practice by Seth Godin. I’ve dipped into his blog for years now, and reading a longer take on art and the practice of making art is both reassuring and a little frustrating. I like to be led through a book’s purpose, and so far it’s a book to dip in and out of, not connected prose that has a process to work through. I still have to finish it though, and I am enjoying it, so I’ll see how it continues.
  • Music: looping Cut to the Feeling led me down a very unexpected Carly Rae Jepsen rabbit hole and I’m enamoured with Dedicated. This is solid pop! Like, damn. Julien has me feeling all the things.